Career Tip of the Month for Women in STEM – March 2024
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As a female engineer with almost 10 years in the industry total, I wanted to share some of my career tips for women in STEM fields on a monthly basis to provide some lessons-learned from my career journey, and hopefully help you navigate yours. (PS- I’ll be sharing a ton of insights over the next few months, so you’ll want to be sure you’re subscribed to my blog so you won’t miss anything! 🙂 )
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To kick things off, this month’s career tip for women in STEM is:
Embrace your femininity.
Let’s unpack this one. Being feminine or expressing yourself in a feminine way often gets a bad rap in society, even in 2024. Yeah, I know, it sucks! People often (incorrectly) associate femininity with weakness or inability to lead or make decisions, so women in the workplace are traditionally told that suppressing femininity and appearing more stereotypically masculine will make others take you more seriously. I’ve definitely been told that a lot in my career, even from the time I was in college! And it’s hard when expressing yourself in a traditionally feminine way aligns with who you are, but people are essentially telling you not to be yourself because your career will suffer.
During my internships, I was told that people wouldn’t take me seriously if I dressed overly-feminine, so I pretty much stuck to the same basics in my wardrobe and didn’t feel great about myself!
I’m here to tell you that women can and will get the job done, regardless of how they express themselves. Expressing yourself as feminine or masculine or neither doesn’t and shouldn’t have any implication on how well you can do your job. This is a major mindset shift that needs to happen in all industries, and not just STEM. It starts with all of us. Don’t hide your femininity if that is the expression you feel is right for you; just be your authentic self, and refrain from judging others’ abilities based solely on their self-expression choices too! Once we accept ourselves and accept others, things will start to change. People are a lot happier and therefore a lot better at what they do for work when they feel authentically themselves. It might seem a little risky, and there is unfortunately an element of having to “prove yourself”, but once you show others that you don’t need to hide your true self to be a successful engineer, scientist, etc., that mindset shift will spread.
I started evolving my professional style to align with my personal preferences in recent years. I tried to express my femininity a few times during college, but was still pretty timid in standing out too much, so I wore a lot of dark colors and neutrals (not me at all!). My mood board in college, however, was where my true personality came out!
This one has been particularly challenging for me to implement in my own career because I’m a notorious people-pleaser and don’t love to invite conflict or controversy into my life. I’ve cared about what others think of me to a fault and it’s something I work hard to change every day. I think what really motivated me to make changes is that I got to a place a few years ago where I found myself really hating my career and feeling suppressed, to the point of where I almost gave up on being an engineer and felt a lot of constant depression. The main issue was that I really didn’t feel like I could express myself; I felt like if I dressed how I liked (though still professionally), people would (and did!) instantly make inappropriate comments on my appearance and make me feel like I was incapable, or an object to be ogled. I felt no spark and no excitement for life everyday, and the only time I was happy was when I could dress how I wanted to on the weekends. Once I decided to not hide my creativity or personality at work, I began to shift my career focus to something that aligned with who I am better, and that’s how I became a Systems Engineer. It feels so much better to work in a position now that allows me to be creative and come up with solutions to improve processes and the management of technical items, instead of solely focusing on technical tasking like I had before as a Mechanical Engineer.
Now, I have a job I love that allows me to work from home and express myself fully! I never would’ve found it if I didn’t embrace who I am, do some self-discovery, and build the confidence to pursue what was truly right for me in my career.
My point in all this is that being yourself and expressing yourself authentically (whether that be femininely or otherwise) isn’t just essential for your own mental health; it’s also essential to recognizing your career objectives and strengths in the workplace so that you can have the career you want. So don’t be afraid to wear dresses in the office, or have painted nails, or a unique hairstyle. Stand up for yourself if people judge you unfairly, and change their minds about what a woman in STEM is “supposed” to look like. Elle Woods from Legally Blonde is always my inspiration: once she embraced herself instead of hiding herself, she won her case! Her femininity and love for beauty/fashion helped her discover that one key element that everyone missed, and if you embrace yourself you just might discover something you missed, too! Having diversity in thought, background, and expression facilitates discovery and breakthroughs in the STEM fields because everyone has different strengths and talents. Instead of superficially judging others and making everyone conform to an ideal, it’s essential for this industry to welcome femininity, masculinity, and everything in between. So, as we celebrate Women’s History Month and International Women’s Day, let’s celebrate femininity in STEM and all of the women before us who dared to be themselves and use their unique talents to change the world!
Stay tuned for next month’s career tip for women in STEM and be sure you’re subscribed to my blog for all the engineering, fashion, and career content!
